Hi, I’m Val. I am a former internet thot and recovering social media personality. I took the entirety of 2024 (an election year!) off of social media and this is my story. (Hiiiii Val) Before I divulge all the ways this fast affected me, I feel it’s important for the sake of transparency to make note of the few times I did log on. If you’d like to skip the disclaimer, feel free to move past the italicized section below, and continue with the next paragraph.
I posted on Instagram once. A single story to promote the PMA podcast I appeared on in June. I scanned a close friend’s new romantic interest's account (upon her request), and I responded to a few DM’s from people I know in real life. Oh! and I searched for, and found, my new hair person. All on IG.
My partner texted me a few reels pertinent to recent conversations we had had. Weird how reels relating to the exact topic we were discussing would appear in his Facebook feed within 12-36 hours of our chats. I watched them on a browser (versus the app), and then immediately closed the page when the reels ended. My nervous system is still recouping from all the times I’ve been bamboozled by content I did not consent to consume, but immediately started playing, all because what I had watched ended. I didn’t want to risk it.
The only scrolling I participated in was on Pinterest. Mostly to create boards for diy furniture makeovers, inspiration for transitioning fully back to my natural hair color, and gardening tips. If I haven’t mentioned it, I now garden, hard.
I also watched long form discussions pertaining to the election, took notes on training Catahoula Leopard Dogs, and did my daily workouts on YouTube. I liked videos to support channels I subscribe to, because it is my understanding that likes translate to dollars for Youtube content creators.
And finally, I left a couple of reviews on Google for the folks who helped us buy our house. As a former small business owner, I understand the power a well written, personalized, detailed review can have on a small business.
But that was it. No scrolling, double tapping, commenting, or consuming information outside of what was mentioned. Not on Instagram or Facebook… And I don’t have an active X or TikTok account. For the record, I am currently still inactive on social media.
Now let’s get started…
I began advertising to my Instagram audience that I would be taking an indefinite hiatus from all of my social media accounts in mid 2023. The goal was to encourage any of the 33K followers I had at the time who hadn’t been affected by the shadow ban placed on my account, and who were interested in reading more than the allotted 2200 characters a post caps users at, to receive my blog direct to their inbox. It was a premeditated exit I instinctually knew would be beneficial. The thing is I had no way of anticipating all the ways in which it would, until now, nearly thirteen months later. Below is a list of what I feel have been the most consequential benefits and challenges of making this decision.
Benefits:
I’m less anxious. Like WAY less. There was a time in my life where I would never admit to experiencing anxiety. I arrogantly considered anxiety a scapegoat term that people hid behind to avoid taking accountability in their lives. Not me, no I wasn’t “anxious”, but I did have a mind like a hummingbird on amphetamines, and often buried myself in distractions to avoid being alone with my racing thoughts. Distractions like chronically working, partying, and curating, posting, or consuming social media content.
The Result: By completely removing the impulse to escape into an app, I was forced to confront my bullshit. I may not have been claiming anxiety, but I also wasn’t taking accountability in my life to make better decisions. Quitting social media gave me back hours of my life every day which allowed me to commit to practicing healthier habits and coping skills.
I’m less emotionally reactive. Like WAY less. Especially about things that do not directly affect me. By now it’s no secret, creating a free social media profile comes at a cost. Countless studies and reports issued by people more accredited than me have confirmed this: Algorithms are integral to free platforms because it is how the app learns our behaviors. By learning our behaviors (what we linger on and interact with) algorithms tailor our feed to specified content in efforts to keep us engaged longer. No matter how stoic, or critically thinking we believe ourselves to be, us humans are emotional creatures, and we compulsively interact with content that triggers an emotional response. The longer we engage, the more opportunity the platform has to earn advertising dollars. Cha Ching. Price of admission earned.
The Result: About three months in to my social media fast, I began to feel the daily cortisol spikes that had become my new normal begin to even out. Now, if someone states something I don’t like or agree with, I’m not nearly as quick to internalize it as a personal attack, or lash out. Instead I find myself weighing the merit of what they’re saying with their capacity to deliver it in a way that isn’t hyper emotional, and I respond accordingly.
I escaped the election season relatively unscathed. By being off of social media I was able to be intentional about how and when I allocated energy to the election. I set designated times of day to read deep dives or listen to long format discussions regarding candidates, their voting records, policy history, and what they intended to accomplish in office.
The Result: I felt like I completed my due diligence and carefully weighed voting decisions on my own terms. I dodged 90% of the biased propaganda posing as journalism. And, my election season hangover lasted about 36hrs post election. Then I moved on.
I'm back to creating based on what I’m inspired by vs. what I think will get the most engagement. It makes me cringe to admit there have been times I’ve posted content, not because I felt inspired but because I felt I had to. I can now theorize ad nauseam about why I believe being a social media personality incites delusion, brain washes content creators to join their own cult, and how this is harmful and inevitably leads to soulless art. And believe me, I will, but not today.
The Result: For now what I can attest to is by logging off of social media, I have pulverized the dangling carrot of relevance, detached myself from the notion that the number of followers one’s account has is any indicator of a creators validity or success, and took an actionable stance against censorship. Most importantly, I have liberated myself as a creative.
I’m more present and retain a lot more information. Like WAY more. To be fair, being present and retaining information are skills I’ve fastidiously honed over the last twenty four years while working in the service industry. Whether sex work or restaurant work, my ability to earn my living has always correlated with my ability to relate and connect. In order to effectively do this, I have to pay attention. But my ability to do so is markedly different now. As in, I have reached a new level! Developed a seventh sense! Am basically a promising recruit for X-Men!
The Result: By choosing to radically engage in my three dimensional life and disengage in my one dimensional social media life, I have significantly reduced the automated demands on my attention and my brain’s ability to process. That and, I now scare people with the level of accuracy to which I can recall.
Challenges:
I have been dismissed by people I considered friends (in real life) for no longer representing the social media version of me. Over these last thirteen months I have became less anxious, less emotionally reactive, and in general more moderate in my opinions and beliefs. I know that retiring from a high stress career and being a month shy from turning forty also contributes to this, but getting off of social media has definitely helped create the space necessary in my life to calm the hell down.
The Result: People who still live and die by how they represent, and what they consume on social media may no longer find use for the person I am outside of my curated online profiles. This one hurts because when I invest in people IRL, I really show up for my relationships. While I’m still processing this one, I will say for now that I continue to hold hope that my body of work as a good friend, i.e. all the times I’ve been there, supported, and gave to someone, will outweigh the version of me they want to believe based on how it reflects back to them. But if not, I'll chalk it up to additional evidence for how the cult of social media disorients our sense of reality.
I struggled with identity crisis. The dopamine hits are real and I had no idea how addicted to them I’d become until I went cold turkey. Again, countless studies and reports issued by people more accredited than me have confirmed: Social media is addictive. When I was my most caught up I couldn’t tell you if I was posting about the life I happened to be living, or, if I was living my life specifically so that I could showcase it online. As a person who (pre-social media) had prided herself on being a late adopter as to assess a situation beyond the hysteria of group think, I sure as hell triple back flipped off that bridge. I guess we all have blind spots.
The Result: After making the decision to scrub the skid mark clean that Meta had etched in my brain, I began to reflect on my behavior during my reign as a social media personality. The revelations were sobering and at times led to feelings of deep shame and embarrassment about what I prioritized, sacrificed, and convinced myself of- all for the sake of “building my brand.” Eventually with time, and the wise words of a few trusted confidants, I began to consider the ten years and two social media brands I built as yet another rock of experience I overturned and thoroughly looked under. The entire thing start to finish, for better or worse, is information. I suspect the more distance I get from it, the more perspective I'll gain. Till then.
